Friendship On Fire

Someone once said, "Love is friendship on fire."

That fire is what got me here in the first place. Don't get me wrong, this is the only fire I have ever heard of that ends with a positive result. And for me, I saw that positive result when I took my first pregnancy test.

I fell in love when I was 22 years old, with the man I hoped to marry someday. Love came into our relationship pretty quickly. I fell hard and fast. What can I say, the feeling of finding someone to love, who loves you back, doesn't always come about as easily as we dream that it will.

I accidentally got pregnant when I was 23 years old. Little did I know, my definition of love would be completely redefined the day I would give birth to my first child.

Growing up you always hear people talking about not knowing how much love we are capable of having in our lives until we become a parent. That phrase honestly always annoyed me. I'd think, whatever, I know what love is...

I was wrong. I knew what falling in love with a stranger meant. The love I didn't know yet, was so much more. Having a child changes you. Completely. The moment that child comes out of you, they are not a stranger, they are someone you are wholeheartedly in love with, someone you feel like you have known forever, someone you don't know how you lived life without, and someone you are completely responsible for raising, protecting, supporting, and loving. That child comes out, and it is automatically the most beautiful thing you have ever seen, and that you will ever see for the rest of your life. And in that moment of love, all you can think about is the fact that that tiny human came from you... from love. Love creates beauty. Love creates miracles. And love, it creates a home in your heart where that child will live forever.

I once heard a quote that said, "Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body."

I honestly could not phrase it better myself. My children, they are all a piece of me. A piece of my heart. A piece of my soul. They complete me. No matter what I go through in life, I know my babies will always be with me. When times are hard, all it takes is a single hug, kiss, or "Mommy, I love you" to remind me that life is good and I am ok. I feel so blessed to have the love of 3 children in my life. I love being surrounded by them... their humor, their honest voices, their natural beauty, and yes, even their snotty noses. I love everything about them. Everything.

So today, on Valentine's Day, I want to thank my husband, for giving me 3 beautiful children to love. I'm forever grateful for being blessed to know the true depth of love.

My silly Valentines:

 

6 Months

6 months ago today, I gave birth.

6 months already?! That is insanely hard to believe. My little Buddy is growing up waaay too fast... as all the kids seem to be. As a mom, I have very mixed emotions about my babies growing up. On one hand, it's wonderful, because I absolutely love seeing the little people they are becoming. But on the other hand, I want them to stay little forever, because I just adore them as they are today.

But, time passes no matter how hard we try to make it slow down.

I'm so in love with my Buddy... and so proud to say I'm his Mom. And while he may be growing up faster than I'd like... he (thankfully!) still loves his Mommy snuggles. :)

Oops...

Soooo this happened today.

Girl (who is potty trained) was so tired she forgot to pull her pants down before she went potty. (And didn't realize it until Mommy came in and asked what she was doing!) lol... ooh the surprises of being Mommy. :)

Mommy Degree

I just want to make something clear.

Someone made a comment today (not to me, but in front of me), and I took offense to it.

Usually I let mindless comments pass by... but I feel like this one needed to be addressed. (And this post is not meant to make this person feel bad, but instead, to educate them.)

I am a Stay-at-home Mom for a few reasons:
     1. It was my number 1 goal in life, to have kids, and be able to raise them myself.
     2. Day Care costs a fortune, and putting 3 kids in it would cost more than I'd be making at a full-time job.
     3. Because I am smart with money, and my husband makes enough for us to survive on 1 income. (And no, cops don't make a lot of money!)

Now, being a Stay-at-home Mom does NOT mean that I am wasting my college degree.

The choice to stay home and raise my children is mine. I have chosen to put my kids first and to put my career on hold until I feel it's time to pursue it. My kids are my life... my heart, my soul, my breath. They are my job. And they are only young once. Staying home with them does not mean I wasted 5.5 years of my life in college.

Let me tell you what it does mean. Making a choice to stay home means that I AM fulfilling my dream job. Just because I have a degree does not mean that what I majored in in college is what I want to do for the rest of my life. My choice is to be a mom. I will be a mom for the rest of my life. That is my job. That is my career. That is my life. My choice.

Yes, I have a college degree. Will I use it someday? Maybe, maybe not. Who's to say you need a degree to be successful anyways?! I know plenty of people who never went to college who are successful... and happy. If I don't use my degree, does it mean it was pointless to get it? A waste of time? A waste of money? No. Not at all. My college experience was a journey. Without going through the process of college, I would not be where I am today. I would not be the person I am today. And I probably would not have the family I have today. College isn't always just about the degree, that piece of paper at the end of a long road. For me, it was about the experiences. The people. The memories... and the challenges.

I am proud of my degree. I am proud that someday I can tell my kids (some of) my stories from my journey through college. I have a degree in Broadcast Journalism. My goal in that field was to be a TV Host. Most people will think I'm crazy, but hey, someone has to fill the shoes of the host, right?! Why not me? Well, life decided to change my dreams, and gave me a child. Then another child. Annnnd yes, another. Now my dream is to raise children... happy, good-hearted, well-mannered, loving, children. To do so, I have to be present in their life. I am a mom. THAT is my job.

Now, I'm not knocking working moms, as I believe the best mom is one that does what they feel is best for their family. I support all mothers, whether they choose to work or not, because we all have to do what is right for us. I just couldn't help but feel like I needed to stand up for moms who stay home, but also have college degrees. Kids are only young for a very short period of time... they will be in school full-time before you know it, and then, if we choose, stay-at-home moms can go back to work full-time.

I guess it just left a bad taste in my mouth when someone said that a stay-at-home mom's degree was a waste.

Afterall, a mom (a parent, really) is the only occupation that doesn't require a degree, but should. ;)

Weightloss

Ooh, the dreaded word... Weightloss.

Losing weight is hard. Seriously.

Ok, but let's be honest here, if losing weight were easy, everyone would be thin. My goal is to be fit.

After being pregnant for the majority of the past 4 years of my life, I'm now in the battle of trying to lose ALL of the baby weight. Annnnd thensome. I'm really proud of myself, as I managed to lose 12 pounds last month. Someone asked me what my secret was... and the honest answer, persistence.

I spent a lot of time over the past few months doing research. I am not a fan of any type of diet. They don't work for me, because I don't believe in eliminating everything I love to eat from my daily life. And I'm not gonna lie, I LOVE food. Pretty much all food. I'm really not picky. So the word "diet" doesn't sit well with me. Diet, to me, makes me think I'm withholding something from myself, and that really messes with my head! And a lot of weightloss, is mental, getting our head in the right state of mind. Plus, we all know once we get off the diet, some of the weight comes back. If not more. I also don't believe in only drinking "magical" juices that will make you lose tons of weight. Again, once you stop, won't the weight come back?! We've all heard it before, but it's the honest truth, it's a lifestyle change. It's about eating things in moderation. And it's about knowing what is good for your body, and what isn't.

So, I decided to educate myself. My husband suggested going to the website bodybuilding.com. At first I was hesitant, because I obviously didn't want to look like a bodybuilder. But, after checking it out, I realized it was focused on being healthy, not being hugely built. It has become a type of fitness bible for me. I visit it almost daily. Seriously. The day I discovered that website was the day my mind finally had its "Aha!" moment, and everything just clicked. There is SO much information, and so I began to read. All of it. Seriously, you can spend a lot of time just reading and reading... and not know how you even got onto a topic you are now reading so much about. I told myself that if I am going to lose this weight, I'm going to do it the right way. I'm going to clean up my diet, and I'm going to find workouts that work for me.

So, that's what I did. I read a lot about what foods are the best for your body, as fuel. Chicken, sweet potatoes, and broccoli, quickly became my best friends. I honestly didn't believe that just by changing my diet, I would lose weight. I didn't eat bad before, I don't crave sweets, but I wasn't giving my body what it needed for fuel. So I did a one week test. I switched my eating habits... I started eating more often, more food, but the RIGHT foods. I didn't start working out or anything, I kept everything the same, except my eating. Guess what? I ended up losing 7 pounds that week. No joke. I couldn't believe it myself. I'm thankful that I put myself to that test, because it really got my mind focused, and it was like my body was telling me, yes, THIS is the way to do it! It turned out to be fantastic motivation to keep me going.

I also started drinking more water. When you're pregnant, you drink tons of water. When I'm not pregnant, I really have to force myself to drink water. So, I went to the store, bought a gallon pitcher, and fill it up every night. That way, the next day, I know exactly how much water I still need to drink that day. It helps me keep track, because honestly, I have 3 little kids to keep schedules for, so keeping track of how many glasses of water I've had during the day, would be nuts. So, I have my own gallon pitcher that I know I have to drink completely by the end of the day. It actually isn't hard to do anymore... and I usually end up drinking a few extra glasses per day. Crazy, right?! But totally do-able!

That next week I figured out a workout plan. I've never lifted weights before, besides a few times when I lived with my parents. I'd use my dad's weights from time to time, but nothing religiously. I knew in order to keep going with my weightloss, I needed to hold myself accountable for every single day. I needed to take things one day at a time. Now, every day I know what I need to do to fullfill my workout for that day, and it's completely up to me to make it happen. I made a chart so that every day I worked out, I would mark down what I did, and the days I didn't workout, I would put a huge X through the day. It didn't take long for me to realize that I did NOT like seeing X's on my chart. I hated it. Now, it's motivation enough to make sure I see as few X's as possible. It's weird the things that help us stay motivated, isn't it?!

Truth is, I finally got sick of feeling fat. I feel disgusting every day, hate looking in the mirror, and long to wear my old clothes again. I got to the point where I told myself, this is MY choice. Yes, I have 3 kids (3 and under), I'm a full-time stay-at-home mom, and I have a husband who is rarely home because of work, and when he is, he has to sleep, so no, I don't have a lot of spare time. I don't have a lot of time for me. And honestly, the past 5 years of my life, I haven't spent ANY time on myself. So I told myself it was time to MAKE some time for myself. If we try to FIND time in our days, we never will. We have to MAKE it.

So, make time is what I did. Now, after I put my 3 kids to bed, and make sure everyone falls asleep, I head to my workout room. I spend at least 1 hour on my treadmill and also lift weights. And honestly, I've really started to LIKE working out! Crazy, right?! ha! But really, I'm finding it to be a nice new challenge. It feels good to be putting energy into something for ME. And now that I'm beginning to see results and feel changes, it's just more encouragement to keep going. I don't want to quit this time. I don't want to have to start the process over again. I want to push myself to lose the last of my baby weight (10 more pounds!!!), and then I want to challenge myself to keep going and see what my body is capable of looking like! Why not, right?!

I gained 46 pounds with my first baby (given she was 9lbs 3oz herself), 19 pounds with my 2nd baby (which I lost completely the week after I gave birth!), and 37lbs with my 3rd baby. Now, I lost weight between all the pregnancies, and only carried 10 pounds of baby weight from my 1st baby through my 3rd pregnancy... if that makes sense?! So, now I'm back down to that size and have only those last 10 pounds to lose. Thank the Lord! ha! So, my next goal is to lose those 10 pounds. After that, I want to focus more on toning my body, and in that effort, lose more fat and gain more muscle. My ultimate goal is to be able to wear a bikini again, and feel good doing so! I guess the only thing to figure out once that time comes... is how to get rid of stretch marks! Then again, those stretch marks represent the miracle that life is, and I'm pretty ok with them. :) Although, the whole "they're hereditary" story about why we get them... is crap. My mom, who is tiny, had 4 kids and never got a single stretch mark! Oh well, I'm a woman, I've made 3 perfect little kids, and I'm damn thankful for every challenge my body experienced and overcame in the process.

Life itself is a miracle, and I want to be sure I live it to the absolute fullest. Losing weight and becoming fit is one of the best ways to ensure I will do just that.

As someone once said, "It comes down to a simple question... What do you want out of life, and what are you willing to do to get it?"

.If You Give A Mommy Some Free Time.

...If you give a Mommy some free time (sleeping kids), she might decide to work out. If she decides to work out, she will start running on a treadmill. If she starts running on a treadmill, she will become sweaty. As soon as she becomes sweaty, she will see on her monitor that one of her kids is now awake. When she sees child crying and running out of their room, Mommy will jump off her treadmill, run up her basement stairs and accidentally scare the crap out of crying child. After crying child gets over her initial fear of sweaty Mommy, she will continue to cry... louder. When she continues to cry, Mommy will ask her what is wrong. When asked what is wrong, child will tell Mommy she is sad and wants to snuggle with Mommy's shoulder. (lol) If child wants to snuggle with Mommy's shoulder, Mommy will never refuse. When the sweaty shoulder snuggles begin, child will ask for Mommy to sing to her. When Mommy starts to sing, child will request 3 different songs. Child will also suggest Mommy sings each song 7 times. After Mommy talks child down in the number of songs requested, child asks for her head to be rubbed. When Mommy thinks child finally fell back asleep, the snuggles, singing, and head rubbing will stop, and Mommy will sneak out of child's bedroom. While sneaking out of child's bedroom, the door will decide to squeak loudly and wake sad child back up. Mommy will re-enter screaming child's room, and repeat the process over again. Child will then look at Mommy and ask if Mommy's hair is sweaty. Child will then notice Mommy's workout headband and ask if she can wear one too. Mommy will tell her she can tomorrow, if she goes to sleep NOW. When child falls asleep, Mommy will again, try to escape from child's room. When Mommy tries to escape, her shoe will loudly, on accident, hit the door on the way out. When Mommy's shoe hits the door, she will remember she has shoes on. When she remembers she has shoes on, she will be reminded that she was working out. And when a Mommy starts to work out, she just might start running on her treadmill...